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Hello There...

 

We appreciate that you took the time out of your daily routine to see what we're about. 

 

We're three friends who one day decided to open a website where we can write our thoughts and opinions, and discuss movies and video games.

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We have constantly talked and argued with each other about these topics for years so it only felt natural that we started a blog about it, so the rest of the Internet can suffer too. We're building this website to see if we could do something a little more productive with our interests, and also so we feel like we're not completely wasting our time.

 

Are there any films or games that you'd like us to check out? Send them in and we'll do our best to write something up! If you want us to review something you've made, then check out our FAQ below first.

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We have a strict policy against plagiarism. All reviews are the work of their respective authors.

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P.S. Stop asking us to review The Human Centipede. Weirdos.
 

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

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Q: How do you review movies and games?

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A: We ask ourselves the following:

  1. What is this thing like?

  2. How might it make me feel?

  3. Is this worth my time and/or money?

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With our reviews, we want to give you a clear, unequivocal answer to all of those questions. We aim to be in-depth, unbiased, and 101% honest.

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If something is good, then we'll say exactly that. If something is bad, we won't sugarcoat things.

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Our movie reviews aim to offer analysis and discussion of story, visuals and sound. We aim to actually watch the movies we're reviewing (hah) at least once, if not more.

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Our game reviews will offer analysis and discussion, but games can be very different from one another. What we analyse and discuss depends on the type of game and its different modes of play.

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Q: What are your different ratings?

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A: There are five:

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1) Avoid

 

Given to games, movies and TV series of the lowest possible quality. We typically give out this rating when a piece of entertainment has little to no merits of its own and suffers from fundamentally irreparable flaws. Anything with this rating simply isn’t worth your time and money. 

 

We try to avoid giving out this rating as much as possible, but occasionally the situation does call for it.

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2) Mediocre

 

Given to games, movies and TV series that we would normally have given an Avoid, but have some merits or minor redeeming qualities. However, these aren’t necessarily worth time or money, except maybe for very specific groups. 

 

3) Engaging

 

Given to games, movies and TV that are just good enough. Typically, these have broader appeal than anything rated Mediocre, with positive aspects counterbalanced by noticeable flaws. We don’t extend a recommendation, but they wouldn’t be a waste of your time and money if you did choose to watch or play them.

 

4) Recommended

 

For high quality games, movies and TV shows. Try to see or play this if possible. While anything with this rating may still have a few flaws, we’ve judged it to be worthy and would wholeheartedly recommend it.

 

5) Essential

 

The top notch stuff that will live forever. Go and see or play this as soon as you can get your hands on it. Stuff with an Essential rating is defined by more than one of the following: 

 

  • Solid writing and characterisation

  • Technical mastery in visual effects, cinematography, graphics and/or sound.

  • Fresh, innovative gameplay or plot progression.

  • High-quality acting and/or voice acting.

 

While not necessarily perfect, flaws should be negligible or practically non-existent.

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Q: Why don't you guys review Xbox games?

A: We're all either in college or recently out of college. That's why. We couldn't afford to get both a PS4 and an XBox, so we had to choose. We've got plenty of reviews for games on PlayStation, so check them out!

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Q: Why do you guys have an Xbox section then?

A: Because we live in the constant hope that one day our prayers will be answered with an Xbox to call our own. Hallelujah.

Or you know, feel free to donate one. Shoot us a e-mail (pressotocouch@gmail.com) if you want to.

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Q: Why do your reviews take longer than usual? IGN always has their reviews up super early reeeeee

A: We're not that well known yet, so we have to:

  • Go out and buy the games we want to review cause we don't get free review codes.

  • Go out and buy/rent the Blu-rays of any movies we want to review.

  • Go out and buy cinema tickets for films we want to review because we don't get free tickets either.

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YOU: "REVIEW MY GAME THAT I'VE WORKED ON FOR YEARS PLEASE..."

A: Congratulations, you've been noticed. Making games isn't easy. We're all about helping indie devs like you get noticed, even though we don't have a big following ourselves. A few things to remember:

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  • If you message us and ask us to review your game, we will always answer you to discuss it.

  • We'll try and fit you into our schedule and release a review, but we can't make any guarantees.

  • If we do a review, on principle, we're not going to bump up your game's rating if asked. We pride ourselves on honest and independent reviews. No bribes or kickbacks.

  • Keep all of this in mind when deciding whether or not to send us review copies or codes.
     

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Q: Will you guys ever continue making podcasts/videos?

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A: We had fun doing the Thoughts from the Couch series, but unfortunately due to changes in our personal circumstances, it became too tough to keep it going week by week. We hope to revisit it one day. Until then, we're uploading new review videos that we are sharing across our social media platforms.

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Q: Can I share your reviews and articles with others? Can I use quotes?

A: If you liked a review, or think it merits further debate, then please do share it with your social circle. Sharing is caring. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, go right ahead.

 

However, we do not allow the content of our reviews and articles, including text or images, to be reproduced without our permission.  Do not use:

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  • The text of any article or review on this site, in full or in part, by any author.

  • The cover images designed for any article or review on this site.

  • Screenshots contained within any video game review or article on this site, by any author.

  • The text contained within "Thoughts from the Couch", in full or in part, by any author.

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Without express written permission from either the author of the respective article, or from the team.

 

That being said, if you want to use short quotes from our reviews, please do so. Just make sure to credit the relevant author or the site. And DM us if you do, our writers are proud of their work and love hearing that other people are quoting them!

 

It should go without saying that no one should pass off any of our work as their own.  If we discover anyone doing this, we will not hesitate to take all appropriate action, including filing DMCA requests, and contacting ISPs and site hosts to file takedown requests.​

 

There is legislation in most countries governing copyright infringement, and you should consider our work protected under these laws. Plagiarism is a serious breach of ethics. Choose wisely.

IT WILL BE DONE, MY LORD.

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